“It feels like a million years have passed since I last saw my Spanish and Italian kids. They’re probably 6ft tall by now and all have their drivers’ licences.”

In between my language studies at Sheffield, I knew I had to find something to fill my time and improve my language skills, so what better way than to move in with a native-speaking family, and work as an au pair?

I’ve lived the au-pair life twice:

1. Bilbao, Spain in July 2015 for 6 weeks, looking after 2 children aged 5 and 7
2. Lake Maggiore, Italy in July 2016 for 4 weeks, teaching English to 9 and 12 year-old sisters.

Back in the UK however, as a family, I’d never been tasked with looking after kids – but I thought, how hard can this really be? I can lounge on the beach, do some painting with them and just jabber on in English, whilst soaking up Spanish/Italian conversations on my days off.

But it wasn’t quite as straightforward as that. Dragging someone else’s child along the beach when he’s having a tantrum because I won’t take him to granny’s (which is an hour’s walk down the road when we’re supposed to be eating back home and on a strict schedule) or trying to get teenagers to play outside and leave their phones behind were all tasks I faced. As much as I loved both families I stayed with equally, it got me thinking: if I did a third au-pairing stint, what environment would I go for? What age children do I prefer looking after?

So here’s a little advice on choosing your au pair family.

1. Make your wish list

First thing’s first: how do you want your time abroad to be? Do you see yourself in laidback Málaga with just one 7 year-old to look after? Or is a city apartment with 3 kids under 5 in Barcelona more your thing? Is it important that the family include you in their activities?

Also make sure you understand the challenges that come with each age group. Whilst 4-year olds will generally soak up the target language quicker and not be so embarrassed to speak and make mistakes, they also might be the ones having unpredictable paddies. 12 year-olds might seem more reasonable, but if they haven’t been exposed to the language from a young age, they might act like us in Spanish class back at home, i.e. “ooh I don’t know if this is right…” or even avoid speaking the language at any cost.

2. Get yourself onto aupairworld.com!

If you’ve never au-paired before, aupairworld.com is a great place to start. You, as a potential au pair can sign up for free – it’s the families who generally pay to sign up. You can choose wherever in the world you want to go, whether you want a city/town/village experience, the age of the children and even opt in (or out) of household jobs.

3. Finances (yawn)

If your plans include jetting off to Mexico to improve your español, make sure to factor in flight costs. Unless said family agree to cover these, in which case you’re extremely lucky! But do research any potential destinations and save accordingly. Madrid will cost more than a little village in El País Vasco, that’s for sure.

4. Skype, Skype, Skype! (Or FaceTime)

Once you’ve made contact with any potential families, please make sure you do a video call with them before deciding to stay with them! You then get an idea of family dynamics, maybe the kid(s)’ behaviour (unless they’ve been bribed with a later bedtime beforehand) and also a gage of how much English is spoken in the house.

5. Go with your gut

If little Juan hits his sister on Skype and the parents don’t bat an eyelid at this behaviour, you might want to politely decline staying with them. If they’re saying you’ll be working 40 hour weeks for between €60-80 a week when Gemma off your uni course is getting the same for a lot less hours, does that sit well with you? Anything that rings a red flag on your initial meeting will likely cause you problems when you arrive. But your gut will also tell you if they’re the right people! Does the parents’ interest in you and your own family make you feel secure? Does the view overlooking the lake just speak to you?

I hope this advice will help anyone considering au-pairing, as the chance to live with a family from a different culture is truly eye-opening. When little Juanita’s telling her dad what she learned today from you, it’ll be so rewarding! And when you get your well-earned day or two off and can soak up the language on a stroll through the town, you’ll know you’ve made the right decision.

Love, Abroadora x

Are you thinking of au-pairing, either in-between studies or as part of a gap yaah? What are you looking forward to most?